My mom keeps me humble


Last Spring, before my mom made the decision to relocate to Montana, I visited her in her home in Southern California and was reminded of how talking to my mom is sometimes like taking a winding road that loops back on itself, and upon which you never quite reach your destination. For any of you who have a relative, be it mom or aunt or cousin, who also has this down the rabbit hole ability, there is no doubt something in these conversations that you can relate to.

First day at her house
Mom: You've lost weight!  You look nice. How much more do you have to lose?
Me: I'm pretty ok with my current weight, but maybe 10 more lbs.
Mom: Ah. So, what can you eat?
Me: Anything I want, but I am avoiding wheat, sugar and dairy.
Mom: I have some of that wheat bread you can only get at Trader Joe's, can you have that?
Me: No, no wheat.
Mom: What about one of these pastries (holding up an enormous 24 pack)?
Me: Nope.
Mom: How about cheese?
Me: No, no dairy.
Mom:  Hmmm. What can you eat, then?
Me: Anything that doesn't include wheat, dairy or sugar.
Mom: How about ice cream? Thin Mint cookies? A Hershey Bar?
Me: No, no and no. What eating plan on the planet includes Thin Mints and ice cream?
Mom: Weight Watchers.
Me: Ah, well, I'm not on Weight Watchers.
Mom: Why not? If you were you could have ice cream and Hershey Bars. Do you feel like Del Taco for dinner?
Me: Where are the Thin Mints?

The next day at lunch
Mom: Wow, your hair is really getting gray!  When are you going to start coloring it?
Me: You think I should color it?
Mom: Hmmm. It's pretty gray there at the sides and around your face. I am disappointed that you didn't get my DNA.
Me: I'm pretty sure I have your DNA.
Mom: Maybe, but your hair doesn't look like mine. I've never had a gray hair, it went straight to white. People at the beauty salon would always ask what I use to color my hair and when I would say nature does it, they would ask what brand that is. Oh, well, maybe my granddaughter will be luckier.
Me: Did you bring any Thin Mints with you?

Dinner that same day
Mom: Is that a new dress?
Me: It is! Do you like it?
Mom: Not really. It's very colorful, though. Did I give you that sweater?
Me: Yes, and I wear it a lot.
Mom: It's an odd shade of blue. I could never find anything to wear it with.
Me: Why did you buy it?
Mom: It was on sale. Are those grey things leggings?
Me: Yes, they are.
Mom: Do people wear them under dresses now?
Me: Yes, if the dress is a little short.
Mom: Why did you buy a dress that was too short?
Me: So I could wear it with leggings.
Mom: Where did you get them?
Me: I bought these at Nordstrom.
Mom: I buy mine at Walmart. I'll bet I could buy 4 pairs of mine for what you spent on those.
Me: Yeah, maybe.
Mom: Do you want to stop at Walmart on the way home and see if they carry your size?
Me: Do they sell Thin Mints?
Mom: No, but they have wine.
Me: Let's go.

Ah, Mom! How I love you and treasure you and realize you are exactly the mom I need. Exactly the one I deserve. And absolutely, exactly the one I want.
One of my favorite pictures 
of my mom
2017 Southern California







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