What do you mean I can't wear mascara?
You need cataract surgery, the very nice eye doctor said to me one sunny afternoon last September. I had gone in for an eye exam expecting to get new glasses. I am nearsighted and have worn glasses full time since my college boyfriend got tired of me squinting at everything in the distance, like street signs or movie screens or the food menu at Taco Bell. Great! I said, I'm ready. He seemed a little taken aback by my enthusiasm, so I assume not everyone is excited about the idea of having surgery on their eyes. But to someone who has always worn glasses now facing the tempting promise of no glasses, cataract surgery is like a gift for getting older.
Pre-surgery November 2021 vs Cruising June 2022...you be the judge
The whole process is so streamlined. You show up at the surgery center, nurses prep your eye then escort you into a big room where you take a seat in a recliner, you lay back and relax and 20 minutes later you go back to the prep room, have a snack and coffee (I asked for wine but apparently they have this weird rule about no alcohol). Then you open your eye and WOW! Everything is so much brighter. I kept closing one eye, then the other, marveling at how bright everything appeared to my surgically enhanced eye. I had no idea how cloudy and yellowed my vision had become. I thought of those paintings by old masters like Rembrandt that were thought to be faded and dark until they were cleaned of centuries of varnish and their true colors were revealed.
Then I looked in the mirror. Apparently having cataract surgery gives you facial lines (ok, wrinkles). Lots and lots of lines. Surely those weren't always there! And what, pray tell, are those big freckles? AGE SPOTS??? No, no, no, no, no. And NO. I do not have wrinkles and age spots. I just do not. But, looking in the mirror again, obviously, I do. Along with bags under my eyes and gray in my hair.
And then, to add insult to injury, I was told I could not wear eye makeup for a month. After each eye. Two months! Yikes! Long, long ago, I read an article in Glamour magazine that advised never leaving your house unless you have on the face you want the world to see. That piece of advice stuck with me for over 50 years (I did warn you it was long ago). A few years ago when I was unexpectedly hospitalized, I urgently texted my best friend to please, please, please go to my home and bring me my makeup bag. Yep, that's right. I was in the hospital for pulmonary embolism and my biggest worry was that someone would visit and see my naked eyes. Don't judge me. I couldn't control what my blood was doing but by God I could have dark eyelashes!
The first 2 days after surgery I wore sunglasses to work. All day. In November. I had briefly considered making up the unaffected eye and wearing a patch over the other one, but I didn't want to have to constantly explain my new pirate look. But sunglasses would be ok. I thought. I had not factored in the lack of sunlight in winter nor the fact that I am just not cool enough to pull off sunglasses-in-the-office look. The 3rd day I wore sunglasses to work but took them off when there was no one around. It didn't take long before I was really tired of putting them on, taking them off, putting them on. And then the unthinkable happened. I forgot to put them on. Someone came into the office and I FORGOT TO PUT THEM ON. And oh my gosh, you won't believe what happened! Nothing. You saw that coming, didn't you? Nothing happened. No one fainted or gasped or ran out the door. The long-ago warning about not having a ready-for-the-world face was just print on a page of a 60's magazine.
You know what did happen? My getting-ready-in-the-morning time shortened by 15 minutes. My washing-my-face-at-night time, also shortened. Oh, and this happened. My mom saw me without makeup and said "Oh, Susan! You look so tired!" So, have I gone completely natural, sans makeup? Have you lost your mind? There may be a time in the (distant) future when I will bravely face the world with naked (albeit perfectly focusing) eyes, but that isn't today.
